I don’t know what title to write for you guys. Aaaa, hallo!

The day started when I heard the one musical note I hate: my alarm clock.

Aaaaa, okay, it’s not a musical note, it’s noise, but you know what I mean. Sorry.

I half-opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling, regretting staying up late to finish the video game I’d been playing all week. At least the string lights I hung up looked nice, so the damp patches and cracks on those grey walls weren’t as noticeable. I also spend less on electricity if I turn those on instead of using lamps, and they look cool. And LEDs are more sustainable.

I live in one of the cheapest rental apartments in the city. You know the apartment Spider-Man lives in? Well... as sad as it sounds, yeah, it’s kind of like that; thirty square meters, with the landlord living right next door and demanding the rent on the first day of every month without me even thinking of being late once. With the salary I have, it is what it is... Don’t worry, I’m not doing badly for money! Well, you can never have too much, especially nowadays, obviously. But I manage. I don’t have much space to sweep, and honestly the most interesting thing I do indoors is play games, so I don’t need much more. W-well, time spent in bed is important too, but... yeah.

I got up and shuffled toward the bathroom like a zombie, covering a yawn with my right hand. As soon as I stood in front of the mirror, I saw myself. Oh... those dark circles... There were still days when they looked worse than they did back when I was studying. I stopped staring into my own blue eyes and lowered my head. I splashed some water on my face, pushing my hair back first. Even then, it fell forward again and covered half my face. It didn’t really matter. I decided to shower before breakfast. Maybe I was really looking forward to trying the avocado shower gel I’d bought the day before, and feeling the water falling over me would definitely wake me up.

That day I had to hurry through breakfast so I could leave as soon as possible. I had the morning shift at the bowl bar where I work. It’s the most stable job I’ve managed to get, and even though it’s not the best thing in the world, it’s not bad at all. Bowls with lots of avocado, juices and smoothies, and a place decorated to look like a forest with tons of plants, like Bilbo Baggins’ house in the Kokiri Forest from Ocarina of Time, or the Hufflepuff common room in the middle of Kamasylvia’s forest in Black Desert... Sorry, I’m a nerd. As long as they don’t ask me to make the rice, everything will be fine... Aaaa, I always overcook it, and I even burn it when I get too distracted.

When I got out of the shower, I dried myself a little, tied the towel around my waist and put my hair up in a bun. I don’t usually wear clothes around the apartment, so I didn’t wait before starting breakfast. I heated up a glass of semi-skimmed milk and made some toast with spreadable goat cheese, avocado slices and sesame seeds on top. My favorites.

I ate breakfast while turning on my phone to listen to music, folk metal, for a change. Every now and then I checked the time to keep track of things and read my WhatsApp messages. When I finally finished, I got dressed to go out. I put on some light trousers, a black T-shirt, a military green coat, and a pair of hiking boots. It was the best option if I wanted to go by the reserve after work. I grabbed my coat, slung my backpack over my shoulder and put my headphones on with the “International Rock up to the 2000s” playlist playing. The moment I opened the door fully intending to leave, I froze when I looked ahead and realized I was forgetting my guitar. I quickly turned around and rescued it from the room along with its case.

I locked the door, went downstairs and stepped outside while dawn was still breaking. The city was only just waking up, the first shops opening and the buildings bathed in the orange tones of the first rays of sunlight. I walked over to the bike area and picked up mine. Hands on the handlebars and feet on the pedals, I headed toward the Bowl Bar while the sunlight gradually lit up my blond hair, making it look more golden. It’s embarrassing how much the color changes depending on the light... but that morning warmth feels so comforting.

➳

The first thing I did when I arrived was go upstairs to the office next to the place to grab the keys so I could open up. I changed into my uniform, tied my hair back so the cap would sit properly... and once again I felt grateful that the boss didn’t care about my nostril piercing or the industrial in my ear. I kept getting everything ready: turn on the screens at the counter, done; plug in the coffee machine, done; check that the toppings for the bowls were in perfect condition, done... everything was ready for customers to start coming in. It was Friday, so I was sure there would be quite a lot of people, although maybe the afternoon shift would notice it more. While I was counting the till, my coworker arrived.

—Hi, Eru! Sorry I’m late!

—Aaaa, don’t worry! Everything’s ready already. You can go change, no problem.

I smiled at her and she patted me on the back with a deep, cheerful laugh, lifting her freckled cheeks. I don’t mind when she’s late and I have to open everything by myself, because I know she helps me a lot afterward and she stays to prepare the rice herself. I should mention... Lennyre is much taller and bigger than me. The redhead’s green-eyed hand felt like a steamroller. A nice steamroller, definitely. She had been working at the bar longer than I had, and the boss usually put us together on shifts simply because, by coincidence, we’re both Norwegian. And according to her, Norwegians understand each other; after all, Lennyre could help me whenever I got stuck with the language. She has lived in the city since she was little —aaaa, “little,” well... less gigantic than she is now— while I arrived a couple of years ago and my accent is still pretty obvious.

Well, studying in general has never exactly been my strong point. I try to make up for it by working as hard as I can, and that’s something I don’t mind doing. Helping someone is motivation enough.

Back in my “getting 4.9s” days, I studied at a high school in Kristiansand, the city where I lived with my parents and my little sister Luth. In case you don’t know Norway, Kristiansand is the capital of Agder, the county in the south of the country that, until recently in 2020, was divided between Vest-Agder and Aust-Agder. You know what Viking stories are like, joining together and splitting apart depending on the era... Aaaaa no, I don’t feel like a Viking, I don’t like raiding or getting violent with people. The Sørlandet region may have been home to many kings among the Nordic peoples, and it has the mildest climate in Norway compared to the rest, but it was also a very important region because it was a major center of worship, where many rituals and cultural practices took place. So it’s clear proof that up there in the north we have a beautiful spring blessed by Freyja and Freyr.

Back to the subject of studying, when I finished secondary school, I didn’t feel motivated to do upper secondary school and then a degree. I felt insecure. I didn’t know what to do with my life and none of the options convinced me. It was pretty overwhelming... When I couldn’t stand Father and his obsession with qualifications anymore, I left home. I traveled to Oslo and later to different places around Europe, taking whatever temporary jobs were thrown my way. I managed with English and French, and... here I am, in this city trying not to look like the typical foreigner. And eventually, I managed. I settled down because I met cool people. Even Luth moved here to study Natural Sciences during the day and sing at night.

There is one thing that has always stayed with me: music. My guitar traveled with me to all those unfamiliar places. I never separated from it, and keeping it maintained or repairing it was always one of my spending priorities... The guitar comes before having a nice apartment. My mother works in music at a record label, so both Luth and I got curious about getting into that world. She managed to start a girl band here. As for me... it’s almost just a hobby because I have (a little) stage fright, but sometimes Luth calls me to open for them when her band has a show at some small alternative music venue. I’m still getting used to that... but what I usually do is play when I go up the hill in the middle of nowhere, with nobody around, surrounded by nature and looking down at the city from above. Definitely not in the apartment, because I’d bother the neighbors...

Lennyre finished putting on her cap and grabbed the keys to finish raising the shutter and put up the “Open” sign.

—I hope you didn’t stay up too late again this time, “Eru-bags”! It’s Friday, we’ve got a busy morning ahead and we can’t afford to have you drooling all over the guacamole!

Then people started arriving, and during the first hour I reminded myself several times not to collapse onto the guacamole. I-it’s not something I usually do... really. Of course, throughout that morning, all those customers started coming in who I could almost consider acquaintances by now. They always end up showing up, and some of them even make the workday more enjoyable by having a nice little conversation about whatever they feel like telling me. People always say that those of us who work with the public have to be in a good mood, always greeting people with a smile; but the truth is, when someone asks me for their strawberry smoothie with a cheerful smile and asks how I’m doing, my own smile gets wider almost without me noticing, without needing to convince myself that I have to look cool no matter what.

I happened to serve an Asian girl with reddish streaks in her hair who played in my sister’s band. She was always really nice to me, and I learned a lot about her culture and got into manga and anime thanks to her. I also served a hot chocolate and some vanilla pastries to a blonde medical student wearing big round glasses, giving her a sweet smile. After her came that huge dark-skinned guy with a mohawk, once again returning from the gym and asking me for a bowl to take away. If he had asked me for a hug, I think I would’ve given him one too. Right after he left, a very tall girl with dyed blue hair appeared and, the moment she stood in front of me, lowered her glamorous sunglasses, revealing the two sapphires she had for eyes:

—Do you have my ice cream... little Eru?

—Aaaaa! Yes! —Even though saying it like that made it sound like we were doing some kind of mafia deal... I headed to the freezer. I grabbed a one-kilo tub of ice cream known as “the blue-white one” with both hands. They were freezing until I finally set it down on the counter. —Here you go. Aaaaa, but I’m not little Eru.

The blue-ponytailed girl laughed in a posh way, paid, and picked up the ice cream as if she were immune to the cold.

—Thanks, little Eru.

A few hours later, after leaving the counter for a moment to clean some tables, I came back and served a dark-skinned girl with green hair. Maybe, judging by the sketchbook she carried under her arm, she was an art student. I didn’t know her, but whenever she ordered something from me, she always looked at me very... intensely. I notice those things quickly. You might find it hard to believe considering the job I do, but I don’t exactly consider myself the most sociable person in the world. When an unexpected social situation happens, I sweat a little more than usual and my cheeks end up turning red on their own. With pale skin, something like that is inevitably more noticeable from the outside... a-and it’s not that I’m shy, it’s just that...

—W-what did you want to have today? —I stutter. I babble. Sometimes I freeze up... But at least I was able to smile a little. I wasn’t forcing it at all; that girl was probably really nice, but neither of us seemed capable of talking beyond whatever she wanted to eat.

—Cookie... milkshake!

—Aaa ee! Coming right up!

She quickly lowered her head as she handed over the coins, and I gave her the receipt in return so she could wait on the other side of the counter. That was when my smile tightened as I heard the entrance door open once more and recognized the boy walking in.

A Bowl Bar employee always has to be prepared and imagine what might happen during the workday before being caught by surprise, but how was I supposed to imagine that after so many years I would see a guy I had once been completely stupid over?

The brown-haired, green-eyed guy was called... Trystan? Tristán? Aaaa, I was always unsure about how to pronounce it. He’s from Spain and came here on Erasmus to study Education at university. We met one night during the city festivities and... oh.

I’ll admit something to you: I like alcohol. I’m the kind of person who usually has a beer or two during the week. If you take into account that on that particular night I went overboard with mixed drinks, they’d booked a rock band instead of playing the usual reggaeton, it was nighttime, and back then I had only recently arrived in the city and was climbing the walls... well, the conversation between him and me went from being the most ordinary thing in the world to completely wild. He wasn’t much older than me, but he did manage to be slightly taller. He played basketball, and that didn’t surprise me in the slightest. Y-yes, he also played very well in bed. That night, loaded with alcohol, neither of us really held back, I’m afraid. During the following days and weeks we kept hooking up but... it never really became anything beyond that. I thought he was nice and he was interesting when he talked about books, but... call me cheesy, I just didn’t feel that spark, and honestly neither did he... so we lost contact.

He walked over to me and I smiled... as much as I could. I think I looked way too stupid.

—Aaaaa ee! W-welcome! W-what can I get you?

—...

Shit, he recognized me. He had been staring at me for too long. I swallowed.

—I didn’t know you worked here, Eru. It’s been a long time —he said, smiling at me, help asdfghj.

—Aaaa ee yeah... Aaaaa! A long time! I-I’ve been here... for a few months.

—Right, right... Just an espresso for me. Thanks.

I saw that he was still as simple as he had been back then. I handed him his order and he sat down at a table by the window, drinking his coffee while reading a book. Uff...

—Eru, you’re sweating —Lennyre appeared behind me, laughing. —Come on, we’re getting off soon. Can you take out the trash? That way you can have a five-minute break.

—Aaaa! Cool! Thanks, Nyre.

—You can take the chance to have a cigarette out back too, you know.

—Aaaaa! N-no, no way! I’m quitting —I replied, looking at her as I grabbed the huge bag of trash we had ready to take out.

Lennyre raised her eyebrows and I left.

Taking out the trash can be annoying sometimes, but it also means the end of the workday is getting close, and it’s a good way to distract yourself and take a walk all the way to... the back door. At that moment I was very grateful to Lennyre for it. I opened the door leading to the inner courtyard between the buildings, where all the garbage containers were. I looked around and jumped on the spot.

I got startled when I realized there was someone in the courtyard. And he wasn’t a neighbor; in fact, I caught the guy very close to the dumpster. He was a young boy, maybe not even twenty yet, with brown skin and light-colored eyes —was my eyesight failing me or were they yellow?— and long hair tied into a ponytail. He wore what looked like second- or third-hand clothes perhaps... but aaaa, they looked cool; the coat and wide trousers ending below the knees, followed by high socks, gave off a very hip-hop kind of vibe. I just stood there watching him, somewhat frozen, while he stared back at me with an awkward expression. Apparently I had interrupted him the moment he heard me open the door.

—...

—...

—I’m leaving! —he spoke first. He raised one hand and tried to give me a carefree smile, showing it to me before turning around.

The sound of his stomach growling snapped me out of my shock. Normally I would have stayed quiet and let him leave; after all, that boy could have been anyone, but I managed to speak.

—Aaa... Do you need anything?

—Oh, no! Not at all! I’m fine!

—If you give me a moment, I can get you something —I insisted, pressing my lips together when I heard his stomach rumble again.

—Er... Thanks! But...

I left the trash bag on the ground and went back inside the bar. I walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge and took out a container of already sliced avocado. It seemed like the best thing to help with hunger, regardless of the fact that it’s my favorite fruit; however, when I returned to the back courtyard, the dark-skinned boy was already gone. I lowered my brows with a hint of sadness, holding the container in both hands. I picked up the trash bag and finally threw it into the right bin before going back inside and returning the avocado.

An hour passed and the long-awaited moment to leave work finally arrived. The coworkers for the next shift were already there and, after saying goodbye and wishing them the best for the afternoon, I put on the hat I’d need for the cold up on the hill and went outside, drinking an orange juice before getting on my bike.

I listened to music during that ride too. I paid attention to all the signs while cycling through the city, and as I gradually left the center behind, there were far fewer cars and pedestrians. The sound of engines slowly disappeared, replaced by the sounds of nature and the earth beneath my wheels.

At the end of the path up the hill is the animal shelter, right beside the grove. There’s everything there, from dogs and cats to even horses or ducks, and all of them are incredibly grateful and affectionate. The moment I appeared at the entrance, the ones that were roaming freely came over to me wanting... cuddles and playtime? Basically, that’s almost what I do there as a volunteer, apart from feeding them and writing reports if any of them look unwell. I could spend hours there, happy to share my time with all of them. The woman who runs the center has mentioned once or twice that she’d like to hire me in the future, if they ever had a little more budget, of course... for now it was difficult, and I understood. They prioritized giving the animals everything they needed, and that always meant a lot of expenses, but it was worth it; they practically lived in freedom and surrounded by affection.

It was sunset by the time they let me go for the day. I sprayed on a little herbal perfume so I wouldn’t smell too much like goose and sent a message on WhatsApp. I grabbed my things and walked calmly along the hill. I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of the trees, the whispers of the wind, the birds calling... I sat down on a rock overlooking the city. I opened my guitar case and took it out, tuning it and practicing a few small chords.